The many yeas or tears and fears take a toll on this aging body. The mind becomes hardened and slow to respond from age and its lack of use. The soul calls out for happiness, peace and solitude as the mind seeks a rational solution. Music becomes a refuge for the soul and the soother of the chaotic mind. Fear of death rears its head occasionally to remind me of my mortality. Yet I fight on and press forward into the uncertain future. Exploring outwardly as much as inwardly to find the truths as well as the balance in my life. Finding answers one day only to lose them the next. Seems it’s a vicious cycle of my spiritual path and my timeline.
Still fighting the little child within me that craves to be loved and accepted while I try to establish the blueprint of whom I desire to be. Time is no longer a friend like it used to be in my days of youth. Between the aging of the body and the knowledge of my own mortality I find myself struggling to make it through each day. The distractions of everyday life become stumbling blocks on my spiritual path. Too many light shows, bells and whistles going off to keep focus most of the time. Though I manage to block them out for the most part. The struggle to find a balance between my religion and my spirituality is not an easy task.
It is so hard to have compassion for everyone when you are surrounded by so many who care not for themselves nor for others. So much fear, anger, greed and such a lack of love in this world. Sometimes I believe people are just terrified by the thought of loving and accepting each other. I guess it must be the fear of being hurt and the experiences they had with those they loved before. If there are no risks involved then there is no real benefit in the action of loving. First off we must learn to accept and love who we are, for each one of us are unique and special beings. We must learn to love and accept ourselves as we are before we can love each other. Through self-examination and self forgiveness we learn to forgive the shortcomings and sins of others.
As my days grow shorter I realize that though we are all individual we are also a part of a complex whole. I see all of us as small pieces of a magnificent collective of thoughts, feelings and ideals. Independently operating, yet somehow collectively manifesting the reality we live in and forming the future yet to come. This gives each of us the ability to enact change on a mass scale by creating a chain reaction. The right words, thoughts or actions can create a chain reaction that could change the world and reality we currently live in. A single voice in the dark can grow to become many voices and eventually change the course of not only mankind but the reality in which we live.
Well enough of my babbling for now.
May wisdom be your light and Love be the fuel on your life journey
Raymond Barbier
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