Category: Family

They have no fear of their parents or respect for others

040 Why does it seem some people find pleasure in causing others pain, embarrassment or emotional distress? Could it be they are suffering in some way and it lessens their pain to share it? Or maybe they think by bullying other people they avoid being bullied themselves? So many reason why someone could desire to cause suffering on another. What is a victim of bullying supposed to do to deal with the bully? Fight back? well it works sometimes but it is usually something to avoid in the long run due to the possibility you may get hurt quite bad. Where does the real problem lie? within the bully, the victim, the society we live in or just the lack of compassion in our children? Well I think there is some truth to each of them, the bully needs discipline and probably some anger management while the victim usually needs some self-esteem boosting along with maybe some defense classes. Society needs to be less apathetic about the problem and more enthused in correcting it. And we all could learn to have more compassion. Obviously there is something going on with our children, they are becoming more violent and less obedient. The bad part is some children nowadays are even bullying their own parents, there is no way I would have even back talked my parents nor even think about bullying them. They would have tanned my hide so bad I wouldn’t have sat down for a year. I guess they have no fear of their parents or respect for others anymore. Now there are some really good kids still out there and that I am glad to see. Where all the anger and violence is coming from is an answer I will leave to the professionals. How to solve the problems with bullying is something that will take a multi faceted approach. Maybe some psychology or sociology major will figure out the answer. Till then All I can do is pray that no child will commit suicide before we fix this ever-growing problem within our modern society.

First step in finding an answer is knowing what the question really is.
Raymond Barbier.

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A price to pay when they misbehave

newprofilepic The years within a family unit is when children develop all their life skills, they learn their fears and learn how to relate to authority as well as peers.  In school they learn some of these skills but usually the main influence on their world view and their capabilities to relate with the world comes from their parents and siblings. This is why parenting is an important skill to learn and usually is learned on the job so to speak. Children have to learn that the world isn’t always fair and that to get something they have to either work hard to or trade something of equal value to get it. One of the most important rules of life they should learn during their childhood is that every they take has either a consequences or reward. Too much of the present youths out there today have little discipline nor do they have any idea about what consequences they may have to pay for breaking rules or laws. They usually learn too late and repeat the mistakes many times before figuring it all out.  As the bible says spare the rod and spoil the child, not that I am condoning child abuse or whipping a child to death but there has to be consequences to bad behavior or the child might grow up with some major issues. There are many non violent ways to teach them right from wrong and that there is a price to pay when they misbehave. What works for one child may not work for another and its one of those you have to figure out the best way for yourself kind of things.

I also find it kind of interesting that now most schools teach our children that there is no losers just the big winner and the next winner and so on. If they don’t learn to face that sometimes you just lose they will be quite emotionally challenged when they move out and have to face the real world. Losing teaches you how to be humble and it also builds character. It also makes most people want to try harder to succeed at the next try. But if there is no winner or looser then what is there to inspire them to try harder and soar higher in their lives? Yes it is not so fun loosing, I had to deal with that quite a bit through life but I also have experienced winning and usually it was because I was moved to do better by a previous failure. I think political correctness is becoming to important and we all are getting too carried away with it. Sometimes you hurt someone else’s feelings or they hurt yours, that’s part of life. The pain is short-lived and if you are fairly secure in yourself then you don’t let it bother you or slow you down. We should teach self-confidence and good self imagery in our school system and promote compassion towards others.

 

Just a few thoughts I had, right or wrong it is the way I see it.

Raymond Barbier

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God does not create ugliness, he only creates things of beauty and purity.

eye  It seems the old dilemma of if one is good-looking or not still weighs heavy on our children and even some adults. We as a species are obsessed with physical beauty and perfection, this leads to so much self-esteem  / worth issues. God made us as we are and God does not create ugliness, he only creates things of beauty and purity. Mankind creates the ugliness in the world as well as the illusion that one body type or face type is prettier than another. Go made each one of us in his image, and god is not ugly so neither is any one of us. Yes beauty is in the eye of the beholder so we may find one type more attractive than another. The problem is in modern society we are bombarded with what someone else believes is pretty, sexy or perfect so much that we can not have our own version of what is hot or not. I guess even before television and photography there was some worries about such things as physical beauty but it wasn’t so wide-spread and usually didn’t cause so much low self-esteem / worth.  We seem to get so hung up on what other people think about our appearance and about us as an individual and this keeps us from accepting ourselves as we are. What other people think may matter, but only to a small degree. What we think about ourselves is what really matters in the end. For physical beauty fades with time but inner beauty and our personality is what remains basically the same throughout life. The truth is that not everyone will think you are physically attractive or like you, but those who matter will and that is what counts. One person may think your ugly but the next may think you’re the best thing since sliced bread. So don’t fret over what others think about your appearance or if they like you are not. Just worry about what you think about yourself and try to live happily. Teach your children to love and accept themselves for who and what they are. Teach them to think good about themselves and not to worry about the opinions off others.

 

 

 

 

 

“God made you, so you must be beautiful and a great person.”

Raymond Barbier.

 

God Bless…..

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we tend to forget about those we care about along the way

oldfamIn the hustle and bustle of our modern world we tend to forget about those we care about along the way. Have you called your mom, dad, siblings or old friends? Have you told your mate how much they mean to you and how much you love them today? Have you had any quality time with your children today? When is the last time you sat down at the kitchen table and had a family meal and converse with your family about what happened today? It is so easy to allow work, stress, TV time and the everyday routine get in the way of sharing your life and time with those you love.

 

Just some thoughts for today.

Raymond Barbier

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Change, acceptance and fear

003 Since the time we are born we sought out the approval of our family and peers, the path of life we choose to follow is heavily influenced by the opinions and attitudes of our family unit and our peers at school or work. Even though we are solitary beings in thought we tend to become attached to the ideals and values of those we are closest to. Of course we have our own personal spin on those values and ideas but the core of them were taken from the close circle of influence we have.  Good thing about human beings is they can change their core beliefs mid stream and change their direction if not their whole life path. Usually the older we get the less we look to others for approval and or acceptance and learn to be more independent in our views. Still the base core of the beliefs we had in our youth influences our lives. The dependence on the acceptance of a social group and or their approval can limit us from reaching our full potential . We wind up spending too much energy trying to make everyone around us happy as well as trying to gain their acceptance. A lot of us waste too much time trying to figure out why we are not accepted, liked or successful. We tend to believe  since we are not liked or accepted that we are either broken or something must be wrong with us. There is nothing wrong or broken within us, and usually we are more accepted and liked than we tend to perceive. Our fear and negative thoughts are blinding us to the truth that everyone is imperfect and that each one of us are both accepted and rejected by the world around us. Even the most popular people in society have those who dislike them and don’t accept them into their social groups.

I believe that we all must learn not to put so much time and energy into being accepted or liked and focus more on being the best person we can be. No matter what cards fate has dealt you in life you have the potential to be happy as well as the ability to change the things in your life that you don’t like.  Change of course is not an easy thing because the first thing you have to do is change your own mindset, you have to let go of the thoughts that make you believe your stuck or unable to progress beyond your current position in life. That is one of the hardest demons to wrestle with and usually it will not surrender easily. Once that is out of your way you just have to take the first step towards your new life. You will face obstacles and even have some set backs but you will make it to the destination if you keep determined. Self growth and self-improvement is a personal experience and there is no one out there other than yourself that can change the person you are or decide where your going in life. Others can only aid you or try to slow you down but that is all they are able to do. Don’t worry about acceptance and or social status, don’t make life too complicated and be true to yourself. Be who you are and shed the shackles of self-doubt and live for the moment as your true self.

 

 

 

 

The first step towards happiness is Self Acceptance.

Raymond Barbier

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To be stuck in such a vicious cycle

p10303 I have noticed a lot of people who go through life stuck in a vicious cycle of buying , using and wanting something more. It seems nobody can be satisfied with what they have, they want the newest and best of everything there is. Even when the newest isn’t necessarily better than what they already have. It doesn’t seem to stay just in the materialistic end of the spectrum, it is in every part of the modern psyche. From your house to your soul mate, nothing is ever good enough or there is greener grass on the other side of the fence. To be stuck in such a vicious cycle consumes your finances, energy and your happiness. The temporary gratification from the new wears off quickly leaving you wanting more. It seems modern society is addicted to consumerism and needs to reevaluate its priorities as well as its habits.

We need to revisit the ways of our grandparents and great grandparents, they lived their life in simplicity and only bought mostly only what they needed. They would buy a few luxuries but they knew happiness came from the people around them not trinkets or toys they can buy. There is nothing wrong with buying a few things you want but you should not be consumed with having every new version that comes out. Seems this generation and the generation growing up are stuck with the mentality that everything is disposable and replaceable. Shame is that this is not just limited to possessions, it also includes people in their lives. If a lover isn’t perfect just dump them and get a new one, if grandma is becoming a burden dump her into a rest home. If a friend becomes boring or disagrees with you toss them aside like a used tissue. This kind of mentality is corroding the core of society and eventually there will be nothing sacred or valuable in our world.

Family, friends and community should be the first priority for each one of us, keeping up with the Joneses or having the biggest and newest shouldn’t be a concern. For what makes lasting happiness is in the social groups we form and not in the trinkets we gather along the way. Since life is but a temporary state for all of us, we should live life in peace and loving one another instead of satisfying our selfish wants. I look at it in this way, I am not the only person or living creature on this planet. Thus I am not the center of the universe or even this planet. I share this world with so many and should enjoy the fact I have some great company here on earth. I will not always agree with them all, but I will always accept them as fellow travelers of this path called life.

Wrong or right, This is my 2 cents worth.

Raymond Barbier

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To them I ask to remember the children.

p10061  Extreme weather from one season to the next, tornadoes and hurricanes hitting us left and right. Earthquakes all across the globe, and record heat waves across America are signs that something is up with our world. Call it global warming, climate change or just solar flares, but face the fact that there is something going on that defiantly needs our attention. Governments and scientists need to stop living in denial of the fact that our world’s ecosystem is going to change and possibly not for the good . Call me an alarmist or a paranoid middle-aged man if you wish, but I rather look at the evidence before me than to live in denial of possibilities that are before us all. As the old saying goes, better safe than sorry and I believe that more than ever a change in how we humans impact this world we live in should be changed.

Relying on carbon based fuels that are not plentiful enough to sustain the needs of a growing world population. Toxic gases and chemicals that are being pumped into the atmosphere are destroying the ozone layer as well as contaminating the soil and drinking water.What kind of world are we leaving for our children and the children of the future? The shortage of oil, drinking water and food are setting the stage for a possible world war three. As a species we have proven that we can achieve miraculous feats when we work together on a common goal. We are quickly approaching a crossroad where we will have to choose to either continue down the road of denial and blindness or a path of awakening and global co-operation. Will greed and lust of power be the way of man or will the path be one of goodwill and  global unity. The global unity I am referring to is not one world government, it is the achievement of a collective effort between all nations to better our world and the tolerance if not acceptance of each others differences.

I believe we require the different nations as well as the different religions or philosophies to keep mankind diverse as well as strong. Diversity is what allowed mankind to survive and thrive up to this point. Without our diversity we would have been a drone like society that probably would not have survived this long. The crossroads are growing closer and soon we must set our priorities and face the costs of our choices. The children of today are the ones that will be the ones to face the results of our choices both good and bad. So I leave it in the hands of those who can make the choices and to them I ask to remember the children when they do.

Just my 2 cents worth, Right or wrong it is here for you to see
Raymond Barbier

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The family that eats, plays, prays and works together stays together.

dd43853The family unit is one of the most important part of society. Without a functional family unit t individuals would have no preparation for the harsh realities of life we all face. Some families are more functional than others and there are some that are quite dysfunctional. One of the shortcomings I see in modern-day families is that once the children approach the preteen and/or teen years the family group activities diminish if not cease to exist. Without family group activities the communications between the family members become less frequent as well as the trust that the family should have. The once close connection between parents and children break down as well as the connection between siblings. I had first hand experience with some of the problems mentioned above. I watched what once was a close family drift apart as I grew older.

I know that some of it is just a part of growing up, but it seems families are not as close as they once were and that the basic communication skills are lacking in the family unit. The family that eats, plays, prays and works together stays together. The family unit is a child‘s first social group along with its only true support structure. The child learns right from wrong, how to communicate with others and how to relate with the world outside through this or her family. Eventually the family unit will become second to the child’s social peers, and if there was not a strong bond amongst the family unit the social peers will be the social group that will influence the child the most.

The children and teens of today are the leaders, thinkers and the creative force of tomorrow. They are our greatest asset and the family unit is our greatest tool in molding and shaping their future as well as our own. Just something for all you out there to think about .

Peace and Wisdom be your Guiding light in life.
Raymond Barbier

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Has left most of us without the knowledge and/or tools to survive

Great Depression: man dressed in worn coat lyi...

I was just sitting here thinking about how my grandparents lived without running water, electricity and lived off the food they grew / raised. My grandmother was born in 1902 and she lived through 2 world wars along with Korea, Vietnam, the first gulf war and many other little wars / conflicts our nation had been involved with. She told me of how her dad would be gone for months doing odd jobs and how her and the rest of the family would live on the vegetables from the garden and on what eggs and game they could raise or trap. I really wonder how many of us could survive now days if we had to live off the land and have to garden, forage and hunt or trap our food. To live without central heating / air conditioning or running water. Mend or make our clothes out of what material we can find, cook on campfire since most of us do not have a wood burning stove like my grandma did. Live without light since most of us don’t have enough candles or even a kerosene / oil lamp nor oil to burn in them.

For the most part our grandparents or great grandparents were quite self-sufficient and lived a sustainable lifestyle. They knew the correct way to prioritize and how to manage their resources what little they had anyway. To be honest we can learn a lot from our grandparents and those who lived in the 19th to early 20th century. If my grandmother was alive today and a catastrophe struck she would be the one id run to. she would know exactly how to survive on the bare necessities and would know all the old remedies etc. Modern technology and conveniences has left most of us without the knowledge and/or tools to survive a long-lasting disaster. Good thing is that it’s still not too late to educate ourselves and prepare a little for the uncertain future.

 

Well enough babbling for now
Peace and Love to all
Raymond Barbier

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Allow distractions to interfere with our lives

100_0063Life is short and full of distractions, if we allow ourselves to be distracted by things we tend to overlook and neglect the people that are important to us. So many things left unsaid and undone every day because of our willingness to allow distractions to interfere with our lives. We tend to put our families, friends and lovers on the back burner to our jobs and sometimes to our recreational activities. This can create tension in our relationships and usually it tends to create a unhappy atmosphere. I do not think that anyone purposely puts their career or recreation above their family, lovers or friends. I believe for the most part it is you start working more hours and etc. to give your family a better life financially. Our society has went from one that focused on the family and on making sure they had food, cloths, a roof over their head along with a good education to more of a materialistic society. Sure we still focus on the family and try to give them the necessities but we also try to make sure we keep up with the Jones’s next door.

Trying to keep up with the Jones’s and Smith’s is one of those distractions that takes away the time and energy that could be focused on your family, lover and friends. Possessions can be stolen, lost and will eventually either break down or become obsolete unlike the love and companionship of friends and family.Maybe a camping trip or fishing trip with the kids and spouse would be better than buying a new game console for the kids or that atv. Togetherness and sharing experiences is what builds strong relationships along with good character in children.Family outings teaches children the importance of family and even friends.

Now there isn’t anything wrong with wanting to give your family the things it wants along with the things it needs as long as you don’t work so many hours you are at loss for time to enjoy life with them. Now don’t get me wrong, I do understand one must work to pay the bills and keep a roof over their head. But you should always try to find time to spend with the family and worry less about the less important thing like luxury items.There is always a way to balance out things and a way to both give the family what it need and some of the things they want. We all just need to evaluate everything in our lives and prioritize with the family as the main focus.

“Family is the foundation of the life we live”

Raymond Barbier

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