Tag: Social group

Change, acceptance and fear

003 Since the time we are born we sought out the approval of our family and peers, the path of life we choose to follow is heavily influenced by the opinions and attitudes of our family unit and our peers at school or work. Even though we are solitary beings in thought we tend to become attached to the ideals and values of those we are closest to. Of course we have our own personal spin on those values and ideas but the core of them were taken from the close circle of influence we have.  Good thing about human beings is they can change their core beliefs mid stream and change their direction if not their whole life path. Usually the older we get the less we look to others for approval and or acceptance and learn to be more independent in our views. Still the base core of the beliefs we had in our youth influences our lives. The dependence on the acceptance of a social group and or their approval can limit us from reaching our full potential . We wind up spending too much energy trying to make everyone around us happy as well as trying to gain their acceptance. A lot of us waste too much time trying to figure out why we are not accepted, liked or successful. We tend to believe  since we are not liked or accepted that we are either broken or something must be wrong with us. There is nothing wrong or broken within us, and usually we are more accepted and liked than we tend to perceive. Our fear and negative thoughts are blinding us to the truth that everyone is imperfect and that each one of us are both accepted and rejected by the world around us. Even the most popular people in society have those who dislike them and don’t accept them into their social groups.

I believe that we all must learn not to put so much time and energy into being accepted or liked and focus more on being the best person we can be. No matter what cards fate has dealt you in life you have the potential to be happy as well as the ability to change the things in your life that you don’t like.  Change of course is not an easy thing because the first thing you have to do is change your own mindset, you have to let go of the thoughts that make you believe your stuck or unable to progress beyond your current position in life. That is one of the hardest demons to wrestle with and usually it will not surrender easily. Once that is out of your way you just have to take the first step towards your new life. You will face obstacles and even have some set backs but you will make it to the destination if you keep determined. Self growth and self-improvement is a personal experience and there is no one out there other than yourself that can change the person you are or decide where your going in life. Others can only aid you or try to slow you down but that is all they are able to do. Don’t worry about acceptance and or social status, don’t make life too complicated and be true to yourself. Be who you are and shed the shackles of self-doubt and live for the moment as your true self.

 

 

 

 

The first step towards happiness is Self Acceptance.

Raymond Barbier

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We dig a pit in which we feel there is no escape.

003 I see the emptiness in the eyes of others, they endlessly try to fill it with material goods and through pharmaceuticals. Unfortunately these are only temporary distractions from the emptiness they feel. The lack of meaning in their life and the absence of self-worth makes the empty feeling in them harder to overcome. What exactly is that emptiness or what causes it could be something as simple as low self-esteem or depression. It also could be the lack of spiritual fulfillment as well as not being accepted by their peers. It seems quite apparent that humans as a species require some sort of community and to be accepted in some sort of social group. We tend to be a very social species and we thrive on being  a part of such a group as well as being loved.

Sometimes we tend to create a false image of ourselves within and can not see the real person we are. We deceive ourselves into believing such negative things that we dig a pit in which we feel there is no escape. The hardest part is coming to the realization that we are not as bad off as we believe. It’s so easy to fall in to the pit but it is very hard to climb our way out. It is one of things that it probably took you many years to create such a negative self-image and it will take some time to teach yourself to have a more positive image. There are many methods of building self-confidence as well as improving your self-image such as attending religious meetings, meditation, exercise and even writing poetry or a journal.

Every day is but one more step in your personal journey through life and each step leads you forward in your self discovery.  If you search within to find out who you really are you may just find that you are far better person than you once believed. For we seem to be a far stricter judge upon ourselves as well as or actions than we are on others. We have to look at ourselves like we look at friends and family. Judge ourselves with compassion like we do those we love and care about, knowing no one is perfect and to expect perfection from ourselves or others is just plain illogical to say the least. To remember your past mistakes is wise but to punish yourself over them is foolish. We paid the price for the mistakes shortly after we committed them and guilt shouldn’t last beyond a few day to a week. Forgiving ourselves and others seems to be one of the hardest things to do., but it is a necessary part of our life.

Well enough of my Psycho-babble Nonsense.
Peace and Love to All
Raymond Barbier

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